The unknown is exciting...

My end date for my time here at St. Thomas is exactly 6 months from today, and six months from Tuesday, January 24, I will be home.  Wow.  That is crazy!  Don’t get me wrong, please don’t think I am counting down the days till I’m home, it is just a really strange place to be.  I’m officially halfway through my year.  Weird. 

This past week, during the TFG BIG Conference in Wales, we talked a lot about our time so far at our placements, as well as the next six months to come.  There was a lot of time for personal reflection as well as group discussions.  During these times of personal reflection I was able to think back about what I’ve done over the past months and then also think about what I hope to accomplish before I leave.  I think it was really helpful to do this, because I don't want to realize I only have one month left with no time to change things.  I know I still have time to make a difference, but I know that it's going to fly by, so I better work fast.  It was great having these conversations with other volunteers, but somehow my thinking and the conversations with the other YAGMs always came back to, “What are you doing once you get back?”

This isn’t something that any of us had a good answer for.  We all seemed to be in this state of limbo, where we were struggling with how to properly handle the future while at the same time having our main focus be at our placement and on the work that we are here to do.  On top of this we all seemed to, in one way or another, struggle with where we saw God calling us.  Some are looking at possibly public ministry and ordination, some are thinking of spending another year volunteering in England, some are looking for full time employment back in the states, and some are just all together too overwhelmed to think about it.

All of our placements have had such different impacts on our lives so far and will continue to do so.  These impacts that they have had have changed where many of us see ourselves come August 2012.  Many of us had a plans for after our year of volunteering before we even left the US, but now that we're here, it has changed.  Whether we are in a church working with youth, a community center working with those with special needs, or traveling around putting on Christian assemblies at various schools, we have all been changed.  When I think to how much I have changed so far, the next six months are almost scary.  What should I expect?  I know that no matter the expectations that I set for the rest of my time here or plans I have for when I'm back in the US, God will find some way to throw them out the window as if he were saying to me, “Don’t try to confine me to this box of expectations, because I will blow them out of the water.”  My dad always said the best way to make God laugh is to say you have your life planned.

During all of these discussions about the next six months, the time after that, and the fear and uncertainty it brings, someone in our group, a fellow YAGM, shared this quote,

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.”

The story of my year here in England didn’t start when I arrived in August, and it won’t end when I am back in Greenville come July.  I have no idea where I am in the story, but I sure am excited to ride the ride, and see what it has in store.  I may not have all of the answers, my expectations and "plan" may be completely wrong, and I will change (that's for sure), but it will all be worth it.  It will be fun!  Here's to the next six months!

Here are some pictures from the conference in Wales.  We were able to go for a walk on Wednesday afternoon.  It was a bit overcast, but it was still a lot of fun.  In the first picture you will see eight of the ten YAGMs that are here in the UK.